dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
