Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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