I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
