Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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