I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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