no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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