that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.