My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.