you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.