Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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