"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
