you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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