do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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