I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
