what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
