I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
