she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
