Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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