I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
