I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
