The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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