Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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