dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
