I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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