it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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