I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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