Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
