You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
