I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
