accomplished twins. life is a go
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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