No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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