I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
