i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
