Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
