So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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