You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
