I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
