and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
