sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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