I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
