why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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