Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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