is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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