Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize