we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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