p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
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I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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