dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I could make wine with my vomit
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
