i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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