so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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