No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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