What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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