one might say we're banned from that church
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
