Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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