I wish I could teleport
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
