I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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