somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
