Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
