come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
