Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
me + whiskey = a bad person
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
