My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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