"it" just moved
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize