Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
