Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Randomize
