it hurts more in the daytime
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
