Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I am mentally ready for anal.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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