I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
