If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may now shotgun with the bride
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize