Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
